When I was travelling as a digital nomad before Covid, the time zone changes made it challenging to talk with anyone in real time. I gradually got deeper and deeper into (what I have since heard called) “asynchronous” communication. I was sending texts, videos, and emails. I had all of the apps – Messenger, Slack, MarcoPolo, WhatsApp, Snapchat…
But then Covid stopped my travelling.
As I was attempting to secure a permanent residence again, I relearned the power of having a conversation.
Because…
Every form was a challenge
Every form related to getting an apartment was a challenge.
- The application needed to know my “present address” – um, you mean this AirBnB?
- The criminal record check needed the “last two places I lived” – um, you mean the last two AirBnBs?
- The renter’s insurance form needed my “current permanent address” – ah no, don’t have one of those.
None, and I mean none, of the online forms could be effectively filled out by a nomad re-entering structured society.
Instead of being ‘streamlined’, the process was blocking me
I can understand that there’s a baseline assumption that everyone exists in some system. The forms are meant to streamline the process toward the goal. But for me they were roadblocks.
For a moment, my self-talk wondered how I would ever make it work.
The roadblocks with technology though, necessarily led me to have person to person conversations.
Then I picked up the phone and got excited again
Looking away from the monitor and talking with someone, got me around the obstacles, but also got me more excited.
- Chatting with a building manager allowed me to find an even better apartment, when the conversation led to what really matters to me.
- Talking with an insurance agent gave me a clearer understanding of what insurance can cover than I’d ever get reading websites.
- Reaching a real person at Border Services gave me the steps to ask for an exception which made me confident to hire a moving company to get my stuff from San Francisco to Ottawa.
To avoid the narrowing of self-sufficiency have intentional conversations
Focusing on self-sufficiency and efficient transactions, narrowed my perspective and limited me.
When I chose to connect with people, I got not just their help, but additional suggestions and opportunities I hadn’t considered. And I was able to move forward smoothly.
Exercise widening your perspective
To widen your perspective, here’s an exercise:
- Today: Make a list of people you haven’t spoken with in a while. ex. former teammates, skip level managers, peers in other companies, old classmates.
- Then: Set a reminder for yourself to make a call every day. ex. mark your calendar, leave a sticky note in your fridge, set an alarm on your phone.
- Through the week: Be intentional in making one phone call every day. It can be short, and it can simply be about checking in. Notice what emotions you feel before and after the call.
- At the end of the week: Reflect on what was easy and what was hard, and what surprised you by incorporating more intentional conversations into your interactions.
