Here’s a tip to expand your confidence and curiosity with networking: Imagine asking for directions.
Let’s say you’re walking on a sidewalk in a city that is unfamiliar to you. You’ve heard about an art gallery that you’re curious to see but you don’t know where it is or how to get there. So you ask a stranger for directions.
When you ask for directions, a few things could happen.
A few things could happen.
Maybe the stranger tells you to walk a certain number of blocks and turn right.
Maybe they say they work there (!) and would be happy to give you a tour.
Perhaps the stranger says they too are from out of town, but the staff in the nearby coffee shop are very friendly and could probably help.
It could be that the stranger shares that they love art galleries and recommends a different one that is closer.
Or perhaps the stranger may be pre-occupied to give you any of their attention in that moment.
There is no obligation after that.
After getting their response, you don’t have to continue the conversation. You have no obligation after that.
You don’t have to report back to the stranger.
You don’t have to go into the gallery even if you find it.
On a different day, it’s a new choice on whether to ask them for directions again, perhaps to somewhere else.
Networking is exploring.
In many of my mentoring sessions, I help the person craft a list of 3-5 “places” they want to explore.
It’s not about asking for a job. And it’s not about only being focused on one thing.
It’s about actively looking for conversations to enjoy, that help you learn a little more about something you’re interested in. Ideally it’s something that you can’t just learn in a textbook.
The bonus is that it also helps others see your curiosity and conversation skills.
Things on the list could be:
- Ways to motivate in a hybrid work environment
- How linear or squiggly other people’s career paths have been
- What impact artificial intelligence might have on a particular industry product
- Ways to navigate non-promotable work assignments
- How to blend short term and long term priorities
As you continue to ask for directions to these places, you’ll find more people you enjoy talking with. And they’ll refer you to others. And you’ll be surprised at discovering places you didn’t even know existed until you started moving toward them!
Try it this week
Today: Pick a topic as your “destination” and consider who to ask for directions.
Through the week: Be intentional in sharing with key people, that you are curious about your “destination” topic and would be interested to hear their perspective. When you do have that chat, ask for suggestions on who else to talk with.
At the end of the week: Notice what was easy, what was hard, and what surprised you.
TL:DR
- Explore topics by asking for directions as though they are locations
- Be curious about topics that have many possible perspectives
- Let people see that you’re interested in the bigger picture
