I find most often a pro/con list distracts me from what’s important. Do you agree?
Facing a choice I had a lot of thoughts
I was staring at a big, green “Register Now” button on my screen. It was for a coaching certification course.
A course is key to becoming a professional coach. This one fit well in my current schedule. And I always love to learn new things. It did though have a big price tag. I wasn’t sure if I even was starting a coaching business. And I really wasn’t sure how I felt about asking people to be volunteer clients through my training.
Would a pro/con list help?
I was sure that if I wrote these thoughts down in a traditional pro/con list, it wouldn’t help me.
- Maybe one side would be longer than the other, but I wasn’t going to choose based on word count.
- Maybe I’d lean into listing what I was afraid might happen, and I’d rationalize my way into playing it safe.
- Maybe I’d lean into being clinical, to validate the decision to other people.
All of that would pull me away from what was important.
Was I missing something by being so binary?
I wasn’t looking at a binary decision to sign up or not sign up. That wasn’t the actual question.
I was looking at making a step toward a career that I was interested in exploring.
This would mean considering the biggest benefit to me from taking the opportunity in front of me, and then gauging if it would be worth the effort it would take to mitigate the related risks.
Looking at benefits can shift perspective
If the primary benefit is compelling, then something like an expense shifts to being an investment. And something like a discomfort shifts to being an opportunity for growth.
I did click the button for a coaching certification course, not because the pros outweighed (how is this even possible?) the cons, or the cons weren’t scary, but because I saw benefit in getting a really deep exposure to coaching. And I felt, with help, I could manage the risks if I needed to.
Strengthen your discernment muscle
Here’s an exercise to help you strengthen your discernment muscle:
- Today, identify a choice you have to make this week. Maybe it’s about traveling, or a big ticket item.
- Then notice if you’re drawn to a pro/con list.
- Are you motivated to craft “winning” arguments?
- Are you likely to hide behind the comfort of a mathematical formula for something that isn’t quantifiable (and might have more than two possible answers?!)
- Are you more concerned about justifying a decision to other people, than about what it means for you?
- Through the week, explore the personal benefits of your choices, and ways you could mitigate the primary risks.
- At the end of the week, notice how you feel about making a decision to move forward.
