When you’re struggling to achieve something, it can help to stop and reconfirm what your goal actually is!
Keep playing or concede the game?
My team had just finished playing the eighth end of a ten end curling game. We had been trying but we weren’t scoring. None of us was in the zone and we were kind of spiraling. In that brief moment between ends, the four of us had a huddle. We weren’t mathematically eliminated, but the other team had a commanding and almost embarrassing lead. The question was – did we want to keep playing, or concede the game?
Holding so tightly to one goal, was hurting our performance
Our frustration was clearly linked to the goal of winning the game. But had we forgotten some of our other goals? We came to the event wanting to see what we could accomplish together, and we wanted to compete as a team with a reputation for being friendly and positive.
Remembering that, we all took a deep breath, let our shoulders relax a bit, and agreed to play one more end and then reassess.
Remembering our internal measures of success
We released the tight hold that we’d had on the goal of winning. We let go of what we thought *should* work, and let ourselves have fun wondering what *might* work. The outcome was that we managed, in curling terms, to get a “mittful” of points! So we decided to play out what had become a pretty exciting game.
Prior to that moment, had been days and days of competition. We were emotionally, intellectually, and physically exhausted. And we were constantly surrounded by scoreboards and leaderboards reinforcing external measures of success. We had gradually disconnected from our internal measures of success.
Checking our goals and shared purpose was a game changer
Having fun playing together as a path to some wins, had gotten turned upside down into believing that winning was the path to having fun.
One short checkin about our goals and our shared purpose, is all that changed in our circumstances, but it made a huge difference in our experience and performance.
Exercise for your goal-checking muscle
So here’s an exercise to help you strengthen your goal-checking muscle:
- Today, identify something that you are actively trying to achieve. Perhaps it’s hitting a revenue target or a specific word count.
- Then assess if it is an external measure. (Did you set the target or did someone else?)
- Develop at least one other internal measure that resonates with you. Perhaps it’s about finding new ways that you, or you and your team, can maximize revenue in a sustainable way.
- Every day this week, remind yourself of the internal measure. Maybe it’s with a sticky note.
- At the end of the week, reflect on any shifts you noticed in your creativity and energy level toward what you hope to achieve.
