Like me, did the meeting you were most prepared for, actually feel like your worst?
Started prepared but ended frustrated and drained
I was really prepared for a client meeting. I mean, really prepared. I had framed a concise purpose statement. I had a clear agenda covering all of the issues toward reaching a decision. We had arranged for all of the key stakeholders to participate. We had a good amount of time protected for the discussion.
When the meeting was over, the group did reach a decision, but I was frustrated and drained.
I had gone into the meeting committed to there being a high-quality conversation, and an efficient decision-making process. I was committed to respect everyone’s time and keep their project moving on schedule.
So what happened? The group bought in to the purpose of the meeting, but they didn’t follow the agenda; my agenda. They hopped around between issues, brought up unrelated topics, and seemed oblivious to time passing. I didn’t know what to do when they went “off script”, as I felt they were disregarding the agenda, and not grasping the urgency of the decision. As it was happening, I felt I was failing in managing them as part of managing their project.
I had missed a simple fact
Thankfully, I had colleagues in the room who could widen my tunnel vision afterwards. I had been so intent on having an efficient meeting, that I had designed the fastest path for a discussion to reach a decision. Well, it was the fastest path from my perspective. I had missed the simple fact that I wasn’t in a room with eight people who think exactly like me!
Tapping into curiosity
What I profoundly learned that day, was that clients did rely on me to prepare them and offer a guide for decision-making, but then I needed to tap into my curiosity and allow for the myriad of ways that the group could reach a decision; ways that I actually could never imagine from my sole perspective. That was the experience that helped move me from “I’ve confidently mapped out how it’s going to go” to “I’m curious how this is going to go”!
Exercise for curiosity muscle
So here is an exercise for you to strengthen your curiosity muscle
- All this week, listen for your inner voice saying “I know how this is going to go”
- Make a note of the context when it happens
- Then prompt yourself to shift to “I’m curious how this is going to go”
- Notice if you listen more intently, and ask different kinds of questions
- At the end of the week, consider any patterns for when it happens, and how you felt when you shifted
