I don’t believe that all constructive feedback is helpful.
A broken record improvement goal
As part of my career development conversation, my supervisor and I talked about ways to improve my discernment of the “big picture”.
A month or so later, I had this in mind as I wrote a rough draft of an executive summary. I didn’t have a chance to sit with him and review the draft, but he was able to look at it and send me back some comments. His feedback pointed to strengthening the depth and precision of the analyses. So I put my focus on those elements and we soon wrapped up the project.
But like a broken record, on the next project we were back to talking about improving my discernment of the big picture. I hadn’t made any progress on my goal. It was disappointing, and confusing.
I fell into a feedback trap
Without realizing it, in the midst of the work, I had set aside my improvement goal when I assumed that his feedback was to be my priority. I hadn’t been specific in what I wanted him to focus on during his review of the executive summary. I had generally assumed that in his position he knew better than I did about what was important. If he said to focus on analytical details, then I focused on them; and not on the big picture.
In hindsight, I see that it is entirely probable that he didn’t have my improvement goal in mind when he reviewed the draft. He may have been feeling pressed for time, and so he found the easiest element to give constructive feedback on to keep things moving. Or perhaps he transferred a valid concern from another recent report onto this one.
The trap was that we both got caught up in increasing the quality of the document, without pausing to consider if the quality was satisfactory already. And we forgot that an important aspect of every piece of work is that it is a vehicle for “on the job” skills growth.
Avoiding the pitfalls
The key is for both the giver and receiver to talk about improvement goals to confirm some context, before getting into the feedback itself.
With people you work with regularly: Aim to create an expectation that you talk about improvement goals as the framework for feedback. If someone with authority is giving you feedback, then check with them for more context on its priority for your focus.
With other people in general: Notice if they ask what improvement goal you’re working on before they share their observations and offer you their advice. This is when you consider to what extent you’ll absorb and apply their comments.
Asking for feedback is a great habit. Being specific in the ask is key to getting what you need to really grow.
Exercise to strengthen your feedback muscle
Here’s an exercise to help you strengthen your feedback muscle:
- Today, identify an improvement goal. Perhaps it’s your virtual meeting facilitation skills, or the turnaround time for meeting minutes.
- Then reach out to someone appropriate, letting them know what your improvement goal is, and that you would appreciate them offering feedback at the end of the week.
- Through the week, focus on your goal, and note your own observations of what’s going well and what isn’t.
- At the end of the week, ask for the feedback specific to your goal. Notice how you felt when asking for it, and when you received it.
