Lately I have been getting email auto-replies about the recipient being on vacation – including my tax advisor, my banker, and my group-project classmate. Given how much the coronavirus has disrupted our ‘regularly scheduled plans’, I am happy to see this example of how people are framing some normalcy. The itineraries don’t include European adventures these days, but a day at the golf course or a jaunt in an RV sound lovely to me. And I wish them all well. But, I don’t think any of them deserve a vacation.
Vacation shouldn’t be a prize
Perhaps that’s too alarmist. What I mean is, everyone should relish vacation time, should refresh and recharge, and should use all of their time off – especially those of us in North America where we seem to accrue very little to begin with. Vacation isn’t something that should only be enjoyed AFTER doing something to deserve it as a prize or reward of some sort.
My guess for why the phrase ‘well-deserved vacation’ exists, is that we’ve (innocently?) crossed our wires between ‘well-deserved promotion’ and ‘long-awaited vacation.’ My pet peeve with ‘well-deserved vacation’ is that both directly (to those who really hear the words) and indirectly (to those who don’t notice in the moment but catch it subliminally) our mindset is tweaked with every occurrence. And we start to feel some stress about vacation…
- Have I worked hard enough for my vacation request to be approved?
- Should I wait until the end of this project to take vacation?
- Do I deserve a reprieve?
- If the team is okay without me for two weeks, then am I not valuable?
Break versus Vacation
I recall reaching the day of a ribbon-cutting for a facility I had worked on tirelessly (key word) and my supervisor congratulated me on the work and in the same breath, told me not to show up at the office for three days. And it wasn’t presented as a reward. It was an order. I wasn’t allowed to dismiss it or postpone it.
Partway through the second day I started to realize that a mental fog was lifting. I started to see that I had been in a highly focused state that served the project, but basically nothing and no one else, and I was otherwise useless. I needed to reset. I did not yet have the experience to know this (thankfully he did) nor have access to the multitude of techniques and methods for mindfulness that are around these days. I simply, dutifully stayed home and let some distance and time grow between me and my most recent obsession – I mean, project. Perhaps it was a ‘well deserved break’ to prevent me from actually burning out. I wouldn’t say it was a vacation.
That experience has stuck with me, and I have tried to keep paying it forward by encouraging team members to ‘have a break’, hopefully catching an earlier detour from burn out. And the related exchange about it being my turn to fill-in for them, seems to add to mutual trust – that we are in a repeating cycle of supporting each other.
Vacation should be normal
This pet peeves is in the category of “Words Matter.” In this case, it bothers me that a simple slip like ‘well-deserved vacation’ can lead to so much harm. To young professionals feeling a burden to prove their worth before requesting time off. To middle managers feeling judged if their vacation isn’t described as well-deserved compared to a comment about a peer’s vacation. To an executive (who ironically has accrued the most vacation days) feeling pressure to wait for an elusive ‘better time’. All of these situations lead to poorer performance, weaker decisions, discontent, and the aforementioned mental fog. Can you imagine avoiding this, simply by vacation being spoken of, and treated as, a common practice with a team approach?!
To everyone – I hope you have a great vacation! And I appreciate that you respect the value of time away from work, as integral to your ability to provide high-quality service to your team and clients. And don’t reply to my email until you get back!
