Conflict – can suddenly appear. Do you feel ready with strategies to manage it?
Healthy Conflict (aka what to do about the light fixtures)
When I worked on facility projects, inevitably deep into construction the Owner, Architect, and Builder would suddenly not be on the same page about – something – like the light fixtures. The Builder might be saying that to keep within budget, we need to use an alternate fixture. The Architect might be saying that to keep the design intent, we need what they specified. The Owner (who I represented) might be saying that for functionality, we need what was originally requested. Three entities, three valid opinions, coming to a table preparing for a healthy conflict…
There are five ways I could react to this conflict (besides playing rock/paper/scissors):
Five Strategies
- Accommodating: Maybe it’s not a big issue for me, so I can drop my opinion and choose to agree with the Architect or the Builder.
- Avoiding: Maybe this isn’t a priority for me, and I can remove myself from the conflict, and let the Architect and Builder figure it out and trust what they decide.
- Compromising: I can negotiate with the group, and we might end up with three different fixtures in different parts of the building.
- Competing: Maybe it is a big issue for me, so I can stand firm and substantially debate until I convince the others or I’m convinced to change.
- Collaborating: Let’s roll up our sleeves and do some redesign with the new information and incorporate some new ideas.
These are five valid strategies to managing the conflict. They differ in the emotions they evoke, the time they take, the impact they have. Consciously choosing a strategy for a unique conflict situation is what’s important.
Conflict is part of teamwork – everyone has different ideas for moving to the same goal. It is easier to accept that, knowing that I have strategies I can use to navigate it!
Exercise
Here’s the exercise to strengthen your conflict management muscle:
- Define a situation of conflict
- Maybe it’s relatives picking a vacation destination
- Or board members prioritizing budget lines
- Then on your own, or enlisting others to role play with you, run through scenarios of the 5 strategies
- Accommodating
- Avoiding
- Compromising
- Competing
- Collaborating
- Notice for each one, the related emotions, time, and impact involved.
- Consider which approach you may have defaulted to
- And decide which may best align with your perspective in that situation
